I realize I don't post often

I realize I don't post often, that has probably cost me what little readers I had. But I will be honest, blogging just was not a big part of my life. I really started a blog more to have something to direct people to if I left them comments.

That was not the original reason I started this, I started this to get over a boy, a man really, a man who I thought was the man. But it was more than that, it was about getting my life back. Really making it my life, taking control, being true to myself.

I have been caught up in life and again not really taking care of myself. Sure, I make sure my basic needs are met, food, water, sleep, sex well maybe not so much in the sex department. But am I exercising like I should? Am I doing things to enrich my mind and to awaken my soul? Doesn't feel like it. It feels like I have fallen back into old patterns.

I have become complacent with my life again.

I accept what every day brings without trying to shape or mold it into things that I want for myself. Not in a sick way of thinking that I can control everything that happens to me, or anyone around me. More in a way of actually having goals and wanting things for myself and for no other reason other than that I want them, and they will make me a better person.