Monday, not so fun day

So I started my day with this:

Good morning, I just walked through to say good morning to everyone. I noticed that it is 8:15 and no one in my media department is in. We are really cranking to keep business coming in, including media. I really need your full support ready and working on time…but also being willing to help get us through when needed at the end of the day too. In fact, the entire company is encouraged to be engaged in sales. We are slammed with RFPs and marketing and account management cannot get them all done because much of the work we’ve turned in the past 3 months is hitting them the hardest. Thank you. The Prez

Seriously, are you questioning my commitment or what here?

And then this:

Hi All,I’ve received complaints about microwave use—someone used the microwave this morning and did not cover their food. It blew all over the top, making the microwave stink. Someone tried to use the microwave and had to clean it first. It’s as simple as a paper towel over the plate or bowl, which takes less time than the cleaning process for you or someone else. Please try to remember. Thank you! Office B

Seriously I work in a office full of people who sweat the small stuff…so needless to say the office is a bit tense today.

And now we have this…

Toxic Shock Woman’s son got arrested for shop lifting today, it is quite amusing. Not only was he cutting school but he got arrested for stealing condoms. Seriously just condoms…apparently he is so scared of “my life is so much worse than yours ever will be woman” that he lied about all his information. So they took him to jail. And for the first time she is not going to let him walk all over her, he is going to sit there till she is good and ready to go pick him up.

And now she is back at my desk telling me how to do my job, again. Better Go. Shhh no blogging at work.